My Stages of "Mother"

So, I've realized a lot these past couple of months...since I've become a "mother of four". Allow me to share...

When I was NOT a mother...I was the BEST mother. I knew how to do everything. I knew how to deal with ALL situations that would occur with a child. I knew the things "to do" and all the things "not to do". I would share my wisdom with all who asked...and those who didn't. I was a fountain of motherhood knowledge...and I wondered why real mothers didn't have the knowledge and know-how that I had. I mean, they didn't seem to be doing much of anything right! I was flabbergasted by it all!!!

Then I was a mother of one...I had been given the opportunity to show off what amazing skills I had. To show off the amazing knowledge that I had been given, when so many others lacked. To show others just how if should be done. And to tell you the truth, I did a pretty good job. Hannah was slathered in the "what to do's" "what not to do's" "what to eat" "what not to eat" "what to wear" "what not to wear" and the list went on and on. I had my house and schedule on an amazing cruise control that just coasted along. "See how easy this is?" I'd think to myself, as I watched other mothers who still lacked the knowledge I had, plug along in their chaotic mess...maybe I could just teach them by example...what an amazing idea!! Of course, I'd share my knowledge by using examples of my current amazing life...I mean, Hannah was a product of my knowledge, right?...yet they still didn't seem to get it. They still plugged along in their "un-amazing" unorganized life (poor innocent kids)...maybe I didn't tell them enough times...I'll tell them again tomorrow! I'll consider it my act of service for the day!

Then I was a mother of two...I had been given another opportunity to show off my skills...this time, I could show mothers of multiple children, how it's done...piece of cake!! Well, to my surprise, my "amazing cruise control schedule" seemed to be a bit bumpy. My house seemed to be a bit on the bumpy side as well. What was going on? I still managed to keep some of my platforms in place but others seemed to be slipping a bit..."a little more TV won't kill you, I suppose"..."Another brownie wouldn't either"..."Ok, stay up a little later, hopefully you'll just sleep in later"..."I guess walking on the furniture isn't that big of a deal" and the list goes on and on. Maybe I was being a bit controlling (go figure) and I just need to loosen up a bit. This isn't a reflection of my failure, or my lack of "accurate" knowledge, it's me growing and becoming a better person by letting go of certain things...I still have the knowledge and I will still share it BUT it may have a couple of disclaimers stuck here and there within it! But don't let my bumpy cruise control fool you...I'm still amazing...well, still KINDA amazing!!

Then I was a mother of four...that's right, you heard me...FOUR!!!...I had been given another wonderful opportunity to show off and share my skill...I can be an amazing example for mother's of twins! I can show them that their lives are hectic and out-of-whack because they need the knowledge that I can share...it has NOTHING to do with the fact that two more have been added to the equation. This time my cruise control actually malfunctioned. Not sure what happened to it!! I need to get it fixed ASAP though, or else those who I have enlightened with my amazing knowledge might think I'm lacking...I CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN!!! Because the truth is, I'm not lacking, right? Ok, so the TV has become an amazing friend of mine. It'll babysit for me whenever I am in need, just like a best friend should. And those cookies in the pantry, they aren't to be rationed, they are good bargaining tools. They make the screaming & crying stop!! How can something that makes peace in my house be bad?!? And does it really matter if I'm in the grocery store with kids that are still wearing their PJ's and haven't combed their hair?!? No, it doesn't...it just shows that my children and I have amazing confidence. We don't care what others think of us. We have found true self-worth and aren't bothered by all of the scuzzy looks we're getting from the "before I was a mother" Mothers, the "Mothers of One" and the "Mothers of Two"...did one of them just say, "poor innocent kids"? Naw, that can't be. I'm amazing!!!! I have the knowledge that ALL mother's need even if they aren't aware they need it!! How dare they say that to "the amazing knowledge giver"!!! Then reality sets in...

I am a mother of four and it shows. My babies smell like nasty milk because I haven't had time to bathe them. My 4 yr old is camped out in front of the TV ruining his brain, snacking on something with tons of High Fructose in it. My 9yr old hasn't brushed completely through her hair in a few days but it's nothing that a ponytail can't fix...besides, if her hair was fixed her look wouldn't match the PJ's she's wearing and has been wearing for 3 days now. Last night's dishes are sitting on my kitchen counter...along with the night before's. Two loads of clean laundry sit piled on my couch...waiting to be folded...they will just have to keep on waiting because the babies are hungry again...of course. Plus they need their diapers changed...WOW, a couple of blow-outs!! Now they need their outfits changed. I might be driving a "life without cruise control" but my kids WONT wear pooped-on clothes. Ahhh...that's better...babies are fed, changed, and are now wearing nice clean clothes!! YES...a few moments for those dishes....OH WAIT...they just barfed all over their clothes...Darn that reflux!!!...and so the cycle continues....OVER AND OVER!!!

I wish I knew now, what I knew back then...My endless knowledge of how to be the perfect mom has somehow slipped from my mind...Any "amazing moms" out there willing to share their "amazing knowledge"? I'm ALL ears!!!