"I Don't Know"

This is for all you moms out there that have said..."What the HECK were you thinking?!?!"

As I begin this story, you may think to yourselves..."I know what's gonna happen" BUT I wouldn't be so sure. As this unfolded, I continued to be in awe of the situation and, at times, decided to laugh so that I wouldn't cry!

About two weeks ago...(I'm listening from my room as I'm folding clothes)

Hannah: "Gabe, why does your room stink?"
Gabe:  No reply
Hannah: "Gabe! Did you fart or something? It stinks!!  Did you just go poop?"
Gabe: quietly..."yes"

Hannah then walks into the bathroom...

Hannah: "Oh my GOSH!!!  It stinks so bad in here Gabe! You need to use the fan from now on!"
Gabe: quietly "ok"

Hannah then turns on the fan and comes into my room and retells the story that I just listened to. She kept going on and on about how bad it smelled and she couldn't believe that Gabe made it stink so bad. I didn't think much of it and we all continued getting ready for bed.

The next day I was walking down the hall towards Gabe's bedroom. When I got near the bathroom, I quickly stepped in and turned off the fan. It had been on ALL night!  Note to self: give lecture to the kids about them paying for the electricity themselves if they don't start turning things off.

Later in the day I walk by the bathroom...and I smell an odor. I quickly go in and glance around, check the toilet, etc, trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. I was in a hurry so I just turned on the fan and decided I'd figure it out later.  Note to self: cancel the above stated lecture.

That night...

Hannah: "Mom, it really stinks in the hall and bathroom. Do you want me to turn on the fan again?"
Me: "I turned it back on earlier. Did you shut it off?"
Hannah:  "yea...I didn't stink anymore but now it does."
Me: I think to myself what a good choice it was to cancel the lecture..."Me too. I shut it off this morning but had to turn it on after lunch."  Hmmmmm....

So, this is where the drama begins. The little details are a little blurry because when I get to the point of "losing it", my memory seems to not work as well, so this may not be 100% accurate but close enough...

Hannah then goes to question Gabe again and she realizes that his room still stinks as well. He had slept in her room the night before or else I probably would have noticed. Within a minute, she comes back into my bathroom with her mouth wide open from disbelief...I knew I didn't want to hear...

Hannah: "Mom!!  Gabe pooped in his closet!!  He POOPED in his closet!!!"
Me: "WHAT?!?  GABE!!!  Get in here NOW!!!"

Gabe then enters slowly but doesn't seem to disturbed by the whole thing.

Me: "Gabe, why did you POOP in your CLOSET?!?"
Gabe: "I don't know."
Me: "What do you mean...you 'don't know'?"
Gabe: "I don't know."

I then proceed to go over the long list of consequences that he will now have...as Hannah is still trying to figure the whole thing out.

Hannah: "If you pooped in your closet, why does it stink in the bathroom?"
Gabe: "I don't know."  He looks guilty...
Me: "Gabe, what did you do with the poop? Did you flush it down the toilet?"
Gabe: ...looks as if he's pleading the 5th...

Hannah then leaves to go figure out the stinky mystery as I continue on with the now longer list of consequences. Then she returns...

Hannah: "Well...I figured out why it stinks in the bathroom. Gabe put his poop in the garbage."

Hannah was almost laughing because it was just so unbelievable but I lost it...

Me: "GABE!!! You put your poop in the GARBAGE?!?!" Why, Gabe, WHY?!?!  Why would you put your poop in the garbage?!?!"
Gabe: "I don't know."
Me: "How can you NOT know why you pooped in your closet and then threw it away in the bathroom garbage?!?"
Gabe: "I don't know...I was just being lazy?"

At that point, he had to get out of that room before I did something I would regret. I told him that I wasn't going to clean it up because I wanted him to SMELL IT ALL NIGHT LONG!!! I knew that would probably be the worst consequence I could come up with because, ironically enough, he hates to be dirty and he's not a fan of germs...he's always washing his hands, etc. 

When he heard he'd have to sleep in the stinky room, he just fell apart and I felt MUCH better...as bad as that sounds. That night I tried to think of why he would do such a random thing. I began wondering if he had been asleep and was sleepwalking or something?  Or maybe I had him in timeout and he didn't think he could leave his room?

The next morning, I sat down with Gabe to hopefully get answers...

Me: "Gabe, have you figured out why you pooped in the closet?"
Gabe: "no"
Me: "You really have no idea why you did that?"
Gabe: shakes his head
Me: "Were you asleep? Could you not find the bathroom?"
Gabe: "No, I was getting into my pajamas and I guess I just didn't want to hold it so I just pooped in the closet."
Me: "Gabe!! Why didn't you just go to the bathroom? It's right outside your door!"
Gabe: "I don't know."

By this point I knew there was no use continuing on with the questioning because he "didn't know" and if he did, he wasn't about to tell me. I took him upstairs so that he could clean up the mess in his closet (part of his punishment-I knew he'd hate it). As I looked inside his closet, I noticed that there were yellow marks as well...

Me: "Gabe.............(I didn't even want to ask)..................did you pee in the closet too?"
Gabe: "yea"
Me: "What the HECK were you thinking Gabe?!?!?  What is wrong with you??!!!??"
Gabe: "I don't know."



Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............the joys of being a mother!!  :)