As parents, we’ve heard it so many times before: too much media is bad for our teenagers, but is that true? If so, is there a greater negative effect on our teenage daughters using social media platforms verses our teenage sons? And what about online gaming? Is there a negative effect to that type of online interaction?
So many fingers are pointing to media sources as the cause of their teenager’s depression and suicidal thoughts. But is that accurate?
Though there are many studies that have tried to tackle this topic, most don’t uncover media use as a causation for teen depression and suicidal thoughts, but what’s important is the consistent correlation finding. More studies are needed to fine-tune the numbers, but knowing that there is a strong correlation between online media use and teenage boys and girls depression and suicidal thoughts, should be enough to make us, as parents, want to stop and pay attention to the data that’s being presented.
As a mother of two children on the Autistic Spectrum, I know the difficulty that lies in trying to get a child off of a media source when they seem so much happier there, almost as if they’re in the type of world that makes them less stressed and more able to focus. I can see how media use can help kids on the spectrum, but I’m also aware that is can be hurtful as well. How do we, as parents, find that balance? And what about our kids who aren’t on the spectrum? Does online media use hurt them even more?
From my readings the answer lies within what type of online media source is being accessed, and which gender is accessing that certain type of media. For example, a teenage girl who likes to do online gaming will probably not have as much of a negative impact as that same teenage girl accessing an online social media app. Girls tend to be much more susceptible to the pressures to look a certain way, act a certain way, and talk a certain way. They have a deeper need and desire to “fit in” then most teenage boys, and teenage girls have higher requirements to achieve before they “fit in” than teenage boys do. Since online gaming is more of an attraction for teenage boys, they tend to have less of a correlation between their online media use and their depression/suicidal thoughts. This one difference is a major factor in why teenage girls struggle more with self-esteem than teenage boys.
Allow me to discuss my favorite quotes from the article linked below:
“…suicidal thoughts [are] strongest among girls…[girls] are six times more likely than boys to report…symptoms of depression.” (Neighmond, 2017)
If you are a parent of a teenage girl, the chances are they will struggle more with the pressures of online media sources than your teenage boys. Though boys may be less apt to share their struggles, we can see the pressures to fit into the ever-changing world of online media and social influencers becomes a challenge for many girls. One way to counter-act the pressures of the world outside our home is to limit our children’s access to it, and in my opinion, to offer self-esteem building moments as a family and within our home. The family is a tool the Lord created to help guide our children. Maybe do service projects together or sit down as a family and read good books next to the fireplace. Find way to connect outside of online media that will help your children feel loved, safe, needed and wanted.
“…Hours spent in face-to-face activities – sports, parties, even just going to the mall with friends – seems to be protective,” (Neighmond, 2017).
Wow, look at us back in the day doing it right! We didn’t have social media. We didn’t have online apps and gaming. Our only option for interaction was over the phone, which was stuck to the wall with a 10” cord, or to actually get together face-to-face with our friends. Who knew that was a good tool to limit depression and suicidal thoughts. So… it’s back to the basics! We need to not only encourage our teenagers to gather together, but I believe we also need to give them a safe and inviting place to gather. Open our homes to the “I’m gonna eat you out of house and home” crowd and invite them in. Yes, that may mean you need to install security cameras in every room of your house, but it shows you care and it can lower the level of media pressures our children are bombarded with every day.
“We are digital immigrants. We did not grow up with internet and cell phones… So there’s a real dilemma, in that we’re in charge of safeguarding our kids and teaching our kids how to be savvy digital users, and we don’t have all the skills. Many of us are afraid of the technology,” (Neighmond, 2017).
Sooo… we know the issue with online pressures. We have some ways to combat it (limiting online use) but how do we become the master protectors of a situation that we can barely grasp? A digital world we didn’t grow up in? There may not be a one-size fits all answer to that. But I can’t help but think three things:
Learn, learn, learn
Listen, listen, listen
Use, use, use
We need to be vigilant learners of the online world. We need to listen to our teenagers interacting with each other, like we’re undercover spies. We need to hop on and access the sites they access and play the games they play. Firsthand knowledge is far superior to receiving knowledge and advice from someone else. Find time to interact with your kids online. Sit down with your teenage son and have him teach you how to play his favorite game. Make fun videos with your girls so they can post them to their social media account with the caption “My dad’s such a dork”. Find way to infiltrate their online world, and create a safe, loving environment in their home.
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