So, I'm wondering if 10% is truly enough. I mean, it's enough for our Father in Heaven who only requires 10% in return for all income he provides for us.
Today I realized that I am only accomplishing about 10% of what I want to in a day. I am so far behind! I can't even look over what I missed yesterday because I'm still trying to accomplish the things I need to get done today. At the end of each day, I lay in bed thinking "what did I actually get done today?" and it's always the same old things....fed the kids breakfast, got Hannah off to school, fed Gabe lunch, maybe did a load of laundry or managed to make it to the store for a few groceries, cooked dinner, bathed the kids, got the kids in bed. And that's it!! No...cleaning bathroom, cleaning out pantry, organized craft room, putting away laundry, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.....
So, I began to wonder if 10% is really enough. I've decided at this point in my life, it's about all I can give. There have been times when I was giving all I had and getting all of my list accomplished. There have been times when I was giving all I had and had to put off what I wanted to finish today until the next day. And then there are times like the present, when I give all I have and I struggle to get ANYTHING accomplished.
I guess the key phrase in that paragraph is "give/giving all I have" because maybe that's where it counts. Maybe as long as I am doing all I can, I just need to accept it. I'm really beginning to hope that the Lord accepts it as well.
During times like this, it's hard to find joy in the journey because I'm constantly feeling like I'm failing. I wonder how my house survives each day, how the kids don't seem effected by the clutter building up everywhere, and how I am beginning to look past things that would have drove me crazy just months ago. How is it that we manage to adapt without falling apart? I think maybe I could fall apart if I allowed myself to but I'm trying really hard to focus on the "good, better, best" things in my life. And the truth is, doing the basics for my family is the "best" thing I can do with my time....the pantry, craft room, closets, etc. would be the "good" things. And even though I REALLY REALLY REALLY want those good things done, they'll just have to wait until my "giving all I have" includes them.
So, I guess for right now....10% will just have to be enough.
Don't get disheartened! This end of the pregnancy can be very frustrating because rarely can you get the things done that you need/want to. After I had Naomi I really struggled the first couple weeks feeling the same thing-like I do enough for my kids to survive and that's about it. Then I discovered the power of ONE! I do one extra thing a day-sometimes it's as simple as emptying the garbage or cleaning up a pile of stuff, but if it happens to be a good day it's something bigger like organizing a closet or tackling a really big project. I've had to teach myself to accept that ONE thing is all I can guarantee right now and I need to feel like that's enough and I've accomplished something. Now, if I have a good day and get two or three things done-I feel like a super-star! In some bizarre way, it was actually liberating. Don't get me wrong, I still have a huge "To Do" list, but it doesn't feel quite so overwhelming. (sorry for the story of a comment-I've been struggling with the same thing and have really liked the solution I came up with-I feel awesome just doing dishes these days :o)
ReplyDeleteTotally loved your suggestion!! I've been feeling somewhat accomplished the past few days because I've done "one" extra thing. I haven't accomplished a ton of things but a few and "a few" is much better than nothing!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for great idea!! :)
Love the suggestion Rheanna, I think I am going to try that as well!
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