Offended? I don't know...

So, the last little while I've been dealing with a situation that I have been trying desperately to not be offended by and yet, I think I am.

I realize that each of us are different and that we all have different ways to view life and our choices within this life but sometimes a situation comes along and I just cant, for the life of me, figure out why someone has made the choice they have made. Is it my business? not really, even if it did involve me but I can't seem to let it go.

I'm wondering if it's more "hurt" than "offended" or even a mixture of both, which really frustrates me because aren't we suppose to NOT be easily offended?

And then there's the "I know that person well enough to know why they made that choice" running through that head. And is that fair? Do I really KNOW why they made the choice they did. Maybe...but maybe not!

I think my issue with the whole thing is that I would never make the choice that the other person made. I obviously have a completely different view than the other individual. And if I DID make that choice, my intentions would not be a good sign to the other individual, which is where I'm struggling. What if they feel the way I would have to feel to make that decision? I don't think that's the case but what if?

I feel it's a case of "I don't have to do that. That would be very inconvenient for me so why do it?" And my response would be...."No, you don't have to do that BUT you also don't have to NOT do that because you feel imaginary pressure that you have to" (if that makes any sense).

Example: You don't have to invite your child's friend's little brother to your child's birthday party but the imaginary pressure (or our society) would say that that would be polite and you should. So instead you'd say, "Well, really I don't have to invite him. He's not my child's friend, really. He's more of a tag-along. I feel it's fair to just invite my child's friend without feeling bad for not inviting their sibling no matter how I know it'll make the little brother feel. It doesn't matter that they usually all three play together. So, I'm NOT going to do it just because I feel I have to do it..." to which I would say...."No you don't have to do it but you also don't have to NOT do it just to make a point". Kinda like the girls that choose not to wear a bra because everyone says they should. Does that make any sense?

So, anyway, I'm struggling because now I feel the walls forming around me to protect myself from what might be coming next from this person. I feel myself doing the separation thing, which really bugs me. I feel the annoyance setting in and I don't want to feel annoyed by this person. I feel sad because I think it was more of a selfish decision and that my feelings were not even considered. I feel very hurt because, again, I'd never make the choice they made. Nope not me...I just don't get it.

Poor me, I know, just wallowing in my own Pity Party. I just needed to vent. I needed to get it off my chest even if it was in very general terms. Maybe I'm hoping someone else has experienced something similar and has wonderful advice for me...because I really do want to move past this...but I can't seem to!

Gymnastics

Today after my weekly Sunday nap, I laid in bed and watched my little girls just tumbling around in my belly. It was sooo amazing!!! I can't believe how blessed I am to be able to experience a miracle like pregnancy. I'm trying hard to enjoy this experience and since I've been past the 1st trimester I have. Yes, my feet are swollen, my knees ache, my head aches constantly, my ribs feel like I've been punched in them a few thousand times and my face is as round as a pumpkin but I'm still loving this experience.

It's just so funny how the Lord's timing is perfect. Maybe if I would have gotten prego when Greg and I had wanted to, I wouldn't value & cherish this experience as much. There's no way to know for sure but I'm grateful it's now and not then. Through the Lord's timing I've learned the value of just being called "mommy" when we were blessed with Hannah in our lives. I've tried hard not to take being a mother for granted. I learned that all men don't leave you when we were blessed with Gabe. I was so afraid of raising a boy. I was so afraid he'd leave me. But he taught me that there's nothing to be afraid of...he'll be mine forever...for eternity!

You might wonder why that's a fear of mine...I think it stems from two father's leaving me, my grandfather, who was pretty much my father-figure, dying when I was 12yrs old, my brother never being in the home...always in trouble, and a close male friend dying at a young age...not sure why I never feared Greg leaving me but that's always felt 100% solid....Funny how our minds work...anyway...

I'm just grateful that I know the Lord's directing my path and that all things that come my way are for my betterment. Though at times it can be hard to understand the whole picture, I have to just keep having faith that the Lord will guide me and that his understanding is far superior to mine. I've asked Him to lead my life, I've submitted my will to His and I have to believe all is for the best.

Can't wait for the next gymnastic performance from my little princesses!!

FREE 1st Year Baby Pics!!!

Another contest for free pictures! This time for newborns. So if you're pregnant and want free photos....better go enter!!! All the information is on the site. Here's the link...

http://blog.lambournephotography.com/2010/04/want-to-win-free-sessions-for-year.html

I'd say "good luck" BUT I'm hoping I win :)

Poop vs. Shots....and the Winner is....

Yesterday, I realized that Gabe hasn't pooped since last weeks fun adventure at the hospital, when he literally crapped all over the floor and was standing in his own puddle of liquid poop. Quite a fun an exciting story that I might share later, if I have the time (because sitting on this couch with my feet up is so time consuming and such hard work!!).

So to help him out, yesterday I added a package of FiberAll to his morning juice and hoped that would do the trick.

....for those of you who don't know, Gabe HATES going poop!! Seriously HATES it!! He usually does it when he's asleep at night and his body probably can't hold it in any longer! Not sure what I'm gonna do about that.....

Well, this morning he woke up and he hadn't pooped during the night. I was so bummed because today marks day 7 of not going poop! That just can't be healthy!! So, I decided to use a trick that a friend used with her little girl...."you either poop or I'm taking you to the doctor and he's gonna give you a shot to make you poop!" At first, Gabe just sat there not sure what to do, like he couldn't believe I'd do something so horrible to him! He is not a fan of shots...but what kid is? I waited for his response and as I knew he would, he started crying. Crying because he doesn't want to poop "because it's hard". Crying because he doesn't want "bleed" to come out of his arms. Crying because he had to chose one or the other and wanted a third option..."neither". The poor little guy was an emotional wreck BUT I knew it was for the best! I have to get through to him that it's not healthy to not poop!!

After about 5 minutes of crying and crying some more, trying to plead his case, he calmed down enough for me to get an answer from him. He promised he'd try and poop today!! YEAH!! VICTORY....well in a way....it still wouldn't be in the toilet, which would have been an ULTIMATE VICTORY!! So, I left his room grateful for the "doctors gonna give you a shot" advice and was feeling good about the situation. BUT about 2 minutes later, Gabe came into my room, with his head held high and confident in whatever he was about to tell me. He informed me that he'd changed his mind. He wanted to go to the doctors for the shot. That was his choice because he DID NOT want to go poop.

I stood there dumb-founded and then began raising the number of shots from 1 to many! I started pointing to all the places they'd give him shots and he just sat there, straight faced, and accepted all I had to say. He'd made his choice....multiple shots that would cause his "bleed" to come out, over just taking a poop in his diaper!!!!!

What do I do with this?!?!? I just sat there stunned!! What child would chose multiple shots over going to the bathroom?!? He's just so different from Hannah. She's so logical and he's just so stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something...he'd rather deal with the awful consequences than do it!! And he just turned 4yrs old a few days ago!! Imagine what he's gonna be like at 14yrs!!!

Anyway, I added more FiberAll to his juice this morning. Hopefully his body will get rid of the poop before I have to figure out how to get his doctor to give him tons of shots in various locations on his body!

I wonder if Dr. Wise takes bribes?!? Hmmmmmm...I'll have to check into that :)

Gotta Love a Bad Romance!

I put this link on Facebook but for those of you who don't go on there, I just had to post it here as well!

YOU HAVE GOT TO WATCH THIS!!! ITS TOO FUNNY!!! THIS IS FOR ALL OF MY LADY GAGA FANS OUT THERE....

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8PAuvxCZuM

Take A Look @ Mine & You'll Feel Better In No Time!!

This morning I read my friend Catey's newest blog post and started laughing because she compared her tiny little cute belly to that of someone carrying twins. I have a HUGE belly and it's growing bigger by the day...because I literally am carrying twins but I thought I'd post a few belly pics of my own to help her feel better about her so-called big belly...take a look at mine Catey & you'll feel better in no time!

(Warning: Bare belly area!)


22 weeks & 3 days

Nothing to worry about Catey...you look completely adorable with your little belly, as always. And just think, I'm only in my 23rd week!! Lots & lots of growing coming my way!! YIKES!

I hope this made you feel a tiny bit better :)

My Escapades @ WinCo

On Monday I went to the new WinCo in Orem. I was very excited because their grand opening specials were GREAT! I thought I'd just quickly run there, check the place out, get the things they had on special and then be on with the rest of my day....well, let's just say, as soon as I entered into the parking lot, I knew I was going to be there a while. I had to search for a parking spot for about 15 mins (the whole time having to pee like a racehorse) but finally found one...YIPPEE!!! Off to the restroom I go!! After walking from the back section of the parking lot and finally making it to the entrance, I realized that there were no carts and that there was a bunch of people hanging around waiting for one to "just appear", I guess. I wasn't one of those who believed in magic so I headed back out to the parking lot to stock some innocent shopper and follow them to their car...so that I could then take their cart. I ended up even farther away than I had originally parked but found a nice lady willing to let me hover over her while she put her groceries in the car then gladly gave me her cart. YIPPEE!!! Off to the restrooms I go!! Now I'm back inside the store trying to maneuver in between all the many many shoppers stopping to check out all of the GREAT deals. I couldn't help but stop a couple of times to add a few things to my cart while on my path to the restroom. I finally made it to the main part of the store, with my cart now filled with several smokin' hot deals, still looking for the ever-elusive Restrooms!! I mean, how hard can it be to find them?!? I assumed there would be some in the back, like Walmart, and was about to head there when across the sea of people I saw the heavenly sign...RESTROOMS...great, right? Not so great...they were in the front of the store to use AFTER you checked out! I was beside myself now, absolutely knowing I couldn't wait until I was done shopping. The checkout lines alone were about a 20-30 minute wait!!! Just then a friendly worker walked by and I asked if there were restrooms in the back and to my dismay, there were not. BUT this amazing, friendly, wonderful worker said she'd watch my cart (wasn't about to lose it after searching the parking lot for 15 mins for it) while I went to the restroom. I swear I could've kissed her...but I didn't. FINALLY, shopping without the "emergency alarms" going off in my head! WooHoo!!

So, to make this very long story shorter, I was there for 3 hrs!! Due to the crowds & the lines. But I have to say that it was all worth it! I got a HUGE amount of groceries for a very reasonable price. When I left the checkout line, I had to go pee again, of course, so I headed to the restrooms. I wasn't about to leave my over-flowing cart out where people could easily just walk off with it. Not to be mean, but there were many of those types that would say "I like the dollar store because I don't have to get all dressed up to go there, like I do Walmart" (true story!) at WinCo getting all the good deals like I was. So, I wasn't going to chance it. What do I do then? Well, I take the cart in the restroom with all the workers scuzzing me because there's a sign that says I can't do that. But none of them said anything to me or tried to stop me so I just wandered my way into the huge handicap stall.

Mission accomplished!! I had wasted my entire day but I had done what I had set out to do. I got amazing deals (and the rest of my shopping list cuz I knew I wouldn't have time to stop at Walmart afterwards) and Gabe got a nice new ball...he was thrilled about that. And I was thrilled that it entertained him and that he used it as a pillow...so if he got tired he just laid his head on his new ball!!

So, here's a pic of the carefully stacked cart, yes in the stall, that cost me $168 w/tax. Can't complain about that!! :) And no, I'm not sitting on the tiolet while taking the pic, I was standing in front of it...I know how some of you guys think ;)